Does This Shoe Fit?
I’ve been bitten by a bug lately, one that makes me not want to blog about fat acceptance, but also not read about a lot of it either. It’s not so much that I don’t still agree with the point, and message of fat acceptance, I just can’t say that I feel like I fit here, at the moment. In fact, with reading the comments in some posts, I almost feel as though I’m not welcome, either. Here’s the thing. I was raised in a very conservative Roman Catholic household, and while my views have moved towards the middle, they still are not left of the line. They simply in the middle. There are some issues I agree with that folks on here blog about, but there are many that I don’t. You can tell me to go somewhere where I might find less “left” fat acceptance, but the fact of the matter is, where am I supposed to find this mythical less left place? I certainly can’t find it within the fatosphere, and how am I to find it without?
I don not consider myself conservative (anymore). But nor do I consider myself liberal, by any stretch. So it leaves me wondering, where do I fit in? I see Lindsay, of Babble Bits, discuss this same feeling of not totally fitting into the communities one places oneself in. And I have to say, I feel like that a lot. I don’t fit here. I don’t fit into sci-fi communities because I don’t like it enough, I don’t fit into cosplay communities because I don’t actually cosplay, I don’t fit into anime communities because I don’t watch every single popular anime that comes out, I don’t fit into my Christian group at OSU because I don’t quite believe enough, so it leaves me to wonder, where the hell do I fit in, in the long run? Is there a place for someone who casually partakes in a bit of everything, but never really devotes serious time to a hobby/interest/whatever in particular? And is there ONE place here which is actually a safe place, where opinions I happen to hold won’t earn behind the hand snerks because it is not the opinion of the many? I certainly hope so, because right now, I’m on the cusp of just saying, fugthefatosphere, and just go on my merry way, practicing FA in my life, but not having a whole community to commiserate with. But since I can’t yet fathom leaving here, I’ll just say this.
You do not speak for me. You have not spoken for me ever since I came to the fatosphere, and you do not speak for me now, despite the amount of admirers you have. You have the right to say what you want on your space, just as I have the right to say what I want on mine, but I am just getting it out there, that there actually ARE fat acceptance advocates who do not worship the ground you walk on. And it’s for the better, as a community with a wide range of opinions is a more learned community. (Which is why I must say, I really enjoy the Fat Liberation feed a lot more, even though it is smaller, because I feel that the range of opinions is twice as large as those in the Fatosphere, despite the massiveness of the fatosphere itself).
You may think I’m trying to stir shit. But I’m not. I’m writing an expression of selfhood, and in my own way, standing up for myself, which is something I don’t do nearly often enough. So love me, hate me, think what you will. This is my statement.
Limor said,
August 23, 2008 at 10:50 pm
As I said to Sarah, I’m right there with you. I’m sick of being seen as some sort of troll/hater/patriarcy believer, or whatever other label they want to slap on me. What about embracing our differences, and our individual opinions? Where is this tidal wave of conformity coming from? Seriously, what the hell is going on?
integgy said,
August 23, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Yes. This is what has bugged me about the fatosphere for quite awhile. There is the constant recycling of the same ideas, and while it would be nice if everyone offered up a different opinion on these ideas, like they say they do, all we get is more of the same. The same opinions, on the same articles, one, after another, after another. I too, yearn for some individuality, and right now, I feel like there are a few souls in the Fatosphere who are personalities unto themselves, but far too few.
P.S. I totally commented on your entry before realizing you commented on mine. xD
goodbyemyboy said,
August 24, 2008 at 9:21 am
Thank you for this.
vesta44 said,
August 24, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I read blogs from both feeds, agree with some of what is said on both, disagree with some of what is said on both. I will continue to read both feeds (and other blogs not on the feeds), and I will continue to post on my blog when something moves me enough. If people don’t agree with me, or don’t like what I have to say, that’s fine. There is no way in hell that the thousands of us in the FA/FR/SA movement can agree on everything all of the time, and it would be pretty boring if we did (not to mention, that not much progress would be made on anything). It’s the diversity, disagreements, and agreeing to disagree while working to advance our cause that gets things done. So, it helps to be stubborn enough to say that no one is going to run me out of a movement that I believe in, and that I think I have something to contribute to.
Write what you feel, and if people don’t like it, or don’t agree with it, that’s not your problem, it’s their problem (but maybe, even if they disagree, you’ve given them something to think about).
integgy said,
August 24, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Vesta, I get what you’re saying, I really do. I just happen to think, in part, that some of the more popular blogs, like Shapely Prose, need to be a bit more careful about what they say. The blogs that get a lot of hits, and get passed around a lot more are the kinds of blogs that draw people into the movement. If people are put off by the more extreme opinions of what is one of the most popular blogs in the movement, they might never want to investigate more into it, and just assume that everyone is like that. You may say, “well that’s not a person we want here”, but I say, it may be another voice we need here, one that has the possibility of adding further diversity. I think that first impressions are important, and as a blog that is much more visible than the rest of the fatsophere, I think it has a certain responsibility. I get that she has the right to write whatever she wants, just as all of us do, but I think with some, it’s not as advisable as with others.
Limor said,
August 24, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Your last comment, was the point that I was trying to make to SP. They, of course, ridiculed me etc., as they do to everyone who doesn’t goose step in line with them. I don’t expect to agree with anything that I read, but please don’t tell me that I have no right to my opinion if I want to be part of the movement. I’m just really disappointed by this whole mess.
Juliet said,
August 25, 2008 at 11:13 am
This is one reason I have designed my blog as a “Body Acceptance” blog vs. Fat Acceptance. I find that there can be a very narrow mindset in the FA community.
Though I often side with those who blog and comment on Shapely Prose, I do not always… and I often feel like disagreeing with the status quo is unwelcome.
Tiana said,
August 25, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I strongly agree with your last comment, and this has been bothering me since a few days before the post in question even appeared. I was arguing with both trolls and sensible opponents at the same time, which made me realize that certain bloggers can easily scare off possible future allies instead of accomplishing what they actually want to accomplish.
They may argue that it’s their blog and they can say whatever they want on it – which is true! – but in the end they’re still harming the movement. (OMG shock and horror, I used the phrase of doom!) This is not about freedom of speech, this is about taking into consideration who’s reading and adapting your tone accordingly.
integgy said,
August 25, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Tiana, My last comment was what I meant to say in my post, but due to being on somewhat of an annoyed rant at the time, it wasn’t a concept that was fully realized in the post itself.