I’ve been bitten by a bug lately, one that makes me not want to blog about fat acceptance, but also not read about a lot of it either. It’s not so much that I don’t still agree with the point, and message of fat acceptance, I just can’t say that I feel like I fit here, at the moment. In fact, with reading the comments in some posts, I almost feel as though I’m not welcome, either. Here’s the thing. I was raised in a very conservative Roman Catholic household, and while my views have moved towards the middle, they still are not left of the line. They simply in the middle. There are some issues I agree with that folks on here blog about, but there are many that I don’t. You can tell me to go somewhere where I might find less “left” fat acceptance, but the fact of the matter is, where am I supposed to find this mythical less left place? I certainly can’t find it within the fatosphere, and how am I to find it without?
I don not consider myself conservative (anymore). But nor do I consider myself liberal, by any stretch. So it leaves me wondering, where do I fit in? I see Lindsay, of Babble Bits, discuss this same feeling of not totally fitting into the communities one places oneself in. And I have to say, I feel like that a lot. I don’t fit here. I don’t fit into sci-fi communities because I don’t like it enough, I don’t fit into cosplay communities because I don’t actually cosplay, I don’t fit into anime communities because I don’t watch every single popular anime that comes out, I don’t fit into my Christian group at OSU because I don’t quite believe enough, so it leaves me to wonder, where the hell do I fit in, in the long run? Is there a place for someone who casually partakes in a bit of everything, but never really devotes serious time to a hobby/interest/whatever in particular? And is there ONE place here which is actually a safe place, where opinions I happen to hold won’t earn behind the hand snerks because it is not the opinion of the many? I certainly hope so, because right now, I’m on the cusp of just saying, fugthefatosphere, and just go on my merry way, practicing FA in my life, but not having a whole community to commiserate with. But since I can’t yet fathom leaving here, I’ll just say this.
You do not speak for me. You have not spoken for me ever since I came to the fatosphere, and you do not speak for me now, despite the amount of admirers you have. You have the right to say what you want on your space, just as I have the right to say what I want on mine, but I am just getting it out there, that there actually ARE fat acceptance advocates who do not worship the ground you walk on. And it’s for the better, as a community with a wide range of opinions is a more learned community. (Which is why I must say, I really enjoy the Fat Liberation feed a lot more, even though it is smaller, because I feel that the range of opinions is twice as large as those in the Fatosphere, despite the massiveness of the fatosphere itself).
You may think I’m trying to stir shit. But I’m not. I’m writing an expression of selfhood, and in my own way, standing up for myself, which is something I don’t do nearly often enough. So love me, hate me, think what you will. This is my statement.